Definition of Authoritarian Parenting
One of the four types of parenting style
High expectations and demands
Serious punishments if their child makes a mistake
Enforcing strict rules and demanding obedience
Giving negative feedback to children
Characteristics
Not warm or nurturing attitude
Too harsh on the child
Punishment instead of encouragement
Child will gradually become scared of the parent
Little to no explanation for punishments
Harsh reactions after the child does something wrong
An angry response to the child doing something that the parent objects to, followed by punishment.
Few choices for children
Requires children to follow their rules but not following them themselves
Controlling them with rules
Uncompromising with their rules.
Mistrusting
Doesn’t trust their children to make good choices
Expects their children to make no mistakes
Doesn’t let their children make their own decisions
Doesn’t let their children have the freedom to play or have fun
Shaming
Highly critical
Believes shaming gives motivation to children
e.g ‘Why are you so bad at this?’ ‘How many times have I told you to do this?’ ‘Why don’t you listen to me?’
Lowers child’s self esteem
Impatient with misbehaviour
Expects the child to know their expectations
Doesn’t explain their logic
Effects on children
Pros
Well-behaved:
Trained with strict rules.
More aware of their behaviour
Understands what and what not to do
Crisis awareness:
Notices consequences to actions quickly
Minimizes the risk of having an accident
Firm goal:
Ability to form detailed plans
Understands what needs to be done to accomplish their goals
Cons
More likely to lie:
Parents apply harsh rules
The child becomes afraid of punishment if they aren’t able to do what their parents ask of them
Lie to avoid getting punished
Rule-dependent:
The rules at home become their rules in life.
If there aren’t any rules to follow, they get confused and don’t know what to do.
Rebelliousness:
Too many punishments
Grows tired of rules
Negative thoughts increase in number and they try and test the limits of their parents’ rules
Low self-esteem:
Always gets punished for not living up to their parents’ expectations
Scolded by parents if they even come close to breaking their rules
Lacks confidence and is unusually careful doing anything
Increased risk of depression/anxiety:
Lack of control in life.
Negative thoughts can breed depression/anxiety
Authoritative vs. authoritarian parenting
Permissive vs. authoritarian parenting
Uninvolved vs. authoritarian parenting
Tips on how to be a better parent
The best parenting style is authoritative. It’s not as harsh as authoritarian parenting, isn’t overly controlling, and is also different from the too permissive and uninvolved style of parenting, which lacks good attitudes and behaviour. Parents need to stay connected with their children to understand their kid better. However, even while communicating with their children, they should also give them privacy, as children also value spending time with friends or by themselves.
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