What is self sabotaging
Self-sabotage refers to behaviors or thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do. It allows people to find an outside source to blame for possible failures.
It is like an innate mental block when you
hurt yourself
hold yourself back from reaching your full potential
hold yourself back from reaching the next level of happiness / success that you desire in life.
Why do we sabotage ourselves
Comfort
- avoid risks / surprises / uncertainty
- Fear of passing the comfort zone / breaking through the boundaries / unknown
Avoid taking responsibilities for our failures
- Failure can lead to discomfort when people realize that their own lack of skill or preparation led to the outcome
- undermine their own chances of success
- avoid having to face the truth and accept their own deficiencies
Signs
Holding you back from happiness
- Fear of the unknown
- > the feeling is new and different for you
- > afraid that if you enjoy your success or being too happy, you're going to fail and things are going to come falling down on you.
Very low self worth
- subconsciously in the back of your mind, you don't feel like you’re worthy of a goal or a certain level of success
- > tend to overthink and backtrack
Common cases
- procrastination
- excuses - wanting to give up
- going on an emotional roller coaster
- not making a decision to fully commit
- not deciding to focus 100%.
-> giving them an external source to blame for their possible failures
-> protect the self-esteem
Solution
Recognise what’s happening
You are the one that ends up holding yourself back
disqualify the positive tend to treat positive events like flukes, thereby clinging to a more negative worldview and set of low expectations for the future
We should not be our own worst enemy as we're pursuing our goals and dreams
Practice internal belief: Work on self worth
- Become more aware of negative thoughts; and challenge them
- Consciously decide to reframe and move your thoughts into a more positive direction.
- focus on realistic and true statements that are positive. These include what you will gain, what you have accomplished in the past, and what you will realistically achieve
Manage fears: feel the fear and do it anyway
- Focus on the Things You Can Control
- Redefine failure: maintain a healthy perspective toward the potential benefits of failing from time to time
- Plan ahead: work on developing alternative plans in case your initial efforts don’t go as planned
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